I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
I couldn't find my shoes.
A venomous snake bit me.
A hit man was looking for me.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I had to be there for my husband's/wife's grand jury trial.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
My monkey died.
I had to move a tapeworm from inside me.
Do you know about these excuses for missing work?
Of course! Why didn't I learn these sooner? These are great, funny and true. Here is a star. I liked the monkey one too.
Reply:Like the one about the Monkey and some of the others were OK.
Reply:thats funny, i emailed that to my boss
Reply:i wouldnt try them, but funny
visual arts
Friday, November 6, 2009
Getting Stuff Off?
I was set up last night. My girlfriend invited me over to her place and I expected a quiet evening. Half a dozen of her girlfriends were there including the girl I've been seeing on the side. They jumped me and totally trashed me. I spent most of the evening tied to a tree in drag, but they tried to make things more permanent. They put long lasting lipstick and waterproof makeup on me and broke the zipper on the dress they put me in. They even put tiny locks through the straps in my shoes. With effort I got untied this morning and got most everything off with a scissors or scrubbing. The two things I can't get off are these long fake nails which they glued on and this wig. They used a crochet needle to thread my hair into the wig. I know what they did is illegal and they will regret it, but my main concerns are getting the wig and nails off. Then I'm going to do something about the pictures. Any ideas?
Getting Stuff Off?
Okay, poor you. Wow,, btu i knwo how to get the naisl off! You have to soak your hands in really really warm, almost hot water, for about 10 minutes. They should come off then. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT PRY THEM OFF. It will hurt like heck. as far a the wig.. if its really really really stuck in there, chop it out. cut it all out, then go get a new hair cut at the hair dressers. Lol.. thats only if its REALLY stuck. GOOD LUCK.
Reply:Hahahahaha
U just got effed in the a on Saturday
LMAO!
Reply:Wow, that's horrible. Maybe you could try wetting your hair down, and applying a ton of conditioner to get your hair kind of 'slippery' to get the wig to come out a bit. For the nails - try to trim them back a big so it doesn't look funny to get to the store. Buy some artificial nail remover and cotton balls.
You may consider legal action for this.
Reply:You should really go to a salon. I know it's going to be embarrasing, but if you try to take the nails off yourself and the glue will ruin the surface of your nail. As for the wig, it's going to have to be cut out. And second of all, you shouldn't be seeing anyone on the side. It's not fair to your girlfriend, then again what they did to you is horrible!! You should really tell someone and have something done about it. However, are you sure you're not exaggurating a little?
Reply:wow, sick gf, i hope u dump her...but try some rubbing alcohol for the nails or nail polish remover will dissolve the glue, about the wig, if they crocheted it thru ur hair, i dont know what to say, u might have to cut it...
makeup tips
Getting Stuff Off?
Okay, poor you. Wow,, btu i knwo how to get the naisl off! You have to soak your hands in really really warm, almost hot water, for about 10 minutes. They should come off then. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT PRY THEM OFF. It will hurt like heck. as far a the wig.. if its really really really stuck in there, chop it out. cut it all out, then go get a new hair cut at the hair dressers. Lol.. thats only if its REALLY stuck. GOOD LUCK.
Reply:Hahahahaha
U just got effed in the a on Saturday
LMAO!
Reply:Wow, that's horrible. Maybe you could try wetting your hair down, and applying a ton of conditioner to get your hair kind of 'slippery' to get the wig to come out a bit. For the nails - try to trim them back a big so it doesn't look funny to get to the store. Buy some artificial nail remover and cotton balls.
You may consider legal action for this.
Reply:You should really go to a salon. I know it's going to be embarrasing, but if you try to take the nails off yourself and the glue will ruin the surface of your nail. As for the wig, it's going to have to be cut out. And second of all, you shouldn't be seeing anyone on the side. It's not fair to your girlfriend, then again what they did to you is horrible!! You should really tell someone and have something done about it. However, are you sure you're not exaggurating a little?
Reply:wow, sick gf, i hope u dump her...but try some rubbing alcohol for the nails or nail polish remover will dissolve the glue, about the wig, if they crocheted it thru ur hair, i dont know what to say, u might have to cut it...
makeup tips
Who's the Lover on Sixpence NTR's KISS ME (song)?
1 Vocalist's Lover?
2 A symbolic lover?
3 Jesuschrist?
Kiss me
Out of the bearded barley
Nightly
Beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing
Swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress
Oh, kiss me
Beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
Out on the moonlit floor
Lift up your open hand
Strike up the band
And make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me
Down by the broken tree house
Swing me
Upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring
Bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
Oh, kiss me
Beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
Out on the moonlit floor
Lift up your open hand
Strike up the band
And make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me
Beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
Out on the moonlit floor
Lift up your open hand
Strike up the band
And make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
%26lt;IT SAYS ABOUT THE LOVER FATHER'S MAP- Like God and the lover is Jesus? and the map the right path to hven?
Who's the Lover on Sixpence NTR's KISS ME (song)?
IMO it's talking of her taking her lover up into the fields at night and having fun.
fashion accessories
2 A symbolic lover?
3 Jesuschrist?
Kiss me
Out of the bearded barley
Nightly
Beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing
Swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress
Oh, kiss me
Beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
Out on the moonlit floor
Lift up your open hand
Strike up the band
And make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me
Down by the broken tree house
Swing me
Upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring
Bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
Oh, kiss me
Beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
Out on the moonlit floor
Lift up your open hand
Strike up the band
And make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me
Beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
Out on the moonlit floor
Lift up your open hand
Strike up the band
And make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
%26lt;IT SAYS ABOUT THE LOVER FATHER'S MAP- Like God and the lover is Jesus? and the map the right path to hven?
Who's the Lover on Sixpence NTR's KISS ME (song)?
IMO it's talking of her taking her lover up into the fields at night and having fun.
fashion accessories
Newborn Christmas gift?
My newborn has it all. She has more outfits then the eye can see, some shoes, booties,blankets galore. I want to get her some things for christmas but not sure what toys are suitable for a newborn. She has enough necessities so i dout i will buy her any clothing maybe 1-3 outfits at most. She has a brand new travel system, crib, pack n play, highchair. So we wont be needing any of those. She also has tons of stuffed bears and dolls. I dont want to buy 1 huge gift but rather a few small ones to put under the tree with her name on it. I dont go out much so i do most of my shopping on ebay or walmart, and somtimes the local sears or JCPennys, and even khols. Can any one give me some advice on some practical gift for my newborn? It would help so much since december 1st is right around the corner. I dont like mobiles too much so I think i'll throw them off the list. She has a new winter snowsuit. I'm just so lost and confused on what to buy her. Thanks a ton everyone! - Angel Lynn's Mommy
Newborn Christmas gift?
A college savings account.
Reply:With my daughter, I bought something more sentimental that I could keep to remember her first holiday. A newborn does not need any material toys or clothes for the holiday. Find something sentimental. You could get a locket engraved and wear it until she is older and then give it to her. You could get a nice ornament to commemorate the year. You could also make a donation to a charity in her name to commemorate the season. That way another child could benefit that may not otherwise have a nice holiday. Yet another idea is check into your local zoo to see if they have a buy a brick program. You can often buy engraved paver bricks and have them engraved and then take an outing to the zoo and she can see her name and the year on her special brick. You could also do something with an adopt an animal program.
Reply:A scrap book. My sister in law gave me one %26amp; I loved it. She even included little stickers.
Reply:A newborn doesn't know the difference if they get gifts or not. They aren't going to be opening them anyways.
Reply:You could get a ornament with her picture on it for her first Christmas or a baby book. That way she'll be able to enjoy it when she's older. You could start a college fund. You could also buy clothing that's too big now, so she'll have new outfits when she outgrows the newborn size. Or you can get some toys that she'll be able to play with in a couple of months. She won't be newborn size for long!
Reply:The most practical gift for a newborn is diapers. If you wanna buy something for him to remember then you can buy a nice silver frame with an inscription on it or something like that.
Reply:Well...she's a newborn so I wouldn't concern yourself too much with it. I got my son maybe 2 things (a toy remote that made tons of sounds %26amp; and hammer that sounded like a real hammer when you pounded it - but he was 2 months old by Christmas time).
Of course you want to celebrate her first Christmas...so maybe a keepsake ornament that you can hang every year....or a collectable china doll that you can save for when she's older.
Or even simply give her something from your childhood that you may still have kept. Like I had a small toy that was given to me from an ER Dr. when I was little. I gave it to my daughter. My mom this year is giving her my Grandmother's doll that she crocheted the dress on. And last year she gave my niece my other Grandmother's China Tea Set. Stuff like that mean something, can be wrapped %26amp; kept and have more meaning that any ole toy you can buy on line.
And I NEVER buy clothes etc for Christmas...clothes are a necessity and is something they get all year round holiday or not. Christmas and birthdays are for toys. To me I always hated opening clothes up on Christmas and made me feel like my parents were copping out of a real gift because they ran out of ideas!! Just my opinion though.
And remember that little babies enjoy small inconsequential things. My oldest's favorite toy when he was small was an empty tissue box...great thing about it was that he got a new "toy" every week. He loved them.
Reply:Here is a list of gift ideas for kids 0-12 months from Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com/b:Birth%20to%2...
Hope you can find something there! =) I like the personalized baby towels!
Reply:a new born doesnt really want anything except food, clean diapers and love.
pick out an extra special tree ornament and date it for her.
Reply:http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.d...
That was a get gift for my son for Christmas last year. Good luck
Reply:Playtex 2 Pack Safe N Sure Pacifiers you can never have too many.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp...
Boppy® Tummy Play™ Play Pad - Pink if you don't have one already.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp...
Baby's First Musical Piggy Bank- Pink Flower
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp...
small business web
Newborn Christmas gift?
A college savings account.
Reply:With my daughter, I bought something more sentimental that I could keep to remember her first holiday. A newborn does not need any material toys or clothes for the holiday. Find something sentimental. You could get a locket engraved and wear it until she is older and then give it to her. You could get a nice ornament to commemorate the year. You could also make a donation to a charity in her name to commemorate the season. That way another child could benefit that may not otherwise have a nice holiday. Yet another idea is check into your local zoo to see if they have a buy a brick program. You can often buy engraved paver bricks and have them engraved and then take an outing to the zoo and she can see her name and the year on her special brick. You could also do something with an adopt an animal program.
Reply:A scrap book. My sister in law gave me one %26amp; I loved it. She even included little stickers.
Reply:A newborn doesn't know the difference if they get gifts or not. They aren't going to be opening them anyways.
Reply:You could get a ornament with her picture on it for her first Christmas or a baby book. That way she'll be able to enjoy it when she's older. You could start a college fund. You could also buy clothing that's too big now, so she'll have new outfits when she outgrows the newborn size. Or you can get some toys that she'll be able to play with in a couple of months. She won't be newborn size for long!
Reply:The most practical gift for a newborn is diapers. If you wanna buy something for him to remember then you can buy a nice silver frame with an inscription on it or something like that.
Reply:Well...she's a newborn so I wouldn't concern yourself too much with it. I got my son maybe 2 things (a toy remote that made tons of sounds %26amp; and hammer that sounded like a real hammer when you pounded it - but he was 2 months old by Christmas time).
Of course you want to celebrate her first Christmas...so maybe a keepsake ornament that you can hang every year....or a collectable china doll that you can save for when she's older.
Or even simply give her something from your childhood that you may still have kept. Like I had a small toy that was given to me from an ER Dr. when I was little. I gave it to my daughter. My mom this year is giving her my Grandmother's doll that she crocheted the dress on. And last year she gave my niece my other Grandmother's China Tea Set. Stuff like that mean something, can be wrapped %26amp; kept and have more meaning that any ole toy you can buy on line.
And I NEVER buy clothes etc for Christmas...clothes are a necessity and is something they get all year round holiday or not. Christmas and birthdays are for toys. To me I always hated opening clothes up on Christmas and made me feel like my parents were copping out of a real gift because they ran out of ideas!! Just my opinion though.
And remember that little babies enjoy small inconsequential things. My oldest's favorite toy when he was small was an empty tissue box...great thing about it was that he got a new "toy" every week. He loved them.
Reply:Here is a list of gift ideas for kids 0-12 months from Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com/b:Birth%20to%2...
Hope you can find something there! =) I like the personalized baby towels!
Reply:a new born doesnt really want anything except food, clean diapers and love.
pick out an extra special tree ornament and date it for her.
Reply:http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.d...
That was a get gift for my son for Christmas last year. Good luck
Reply:Playtex 2 Pack Safe N Sure Pacifiers you can never have too many.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp...
Boppy® Tummy Play™ Play Pad - Pink if you don't have one already.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp...
Baby's First Musical Piggy Bank- Pink Flower
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp...
small business web
Getting Stuff Off?
I was set up last night. My girlfriend invited me over to her place and I expected a quiet evening. Half a dozen of her girlfriends were there including the girl I've been seeing on the side. They jumped me and totally trashed me. I spent most of the evening tied to a tree in drag, but they tried to make things more permanent. They put long lasting lipstick and waterproof makeup on me and broke the zipper on the dress they put me in. They even put tiny locks through the straps in my shoes. With effort I got untied this morning and got most everything off with a scissors or scrubbing. The two things I can't get off are these long fake nails which they glued on and this wig. They used a crochet needle to thread my hair into the wig. I know what they did is illegal and they will regret it, but my main concerns are getting the wig and nails off. Then I'm going to do something about the pictures. Any ideas?
Getting Stuff Off?
wow.... id say finger nail poilish remover should work on the nail.. and time to clip the hair short. buzz it off.. i guess you learnd a lesson not to play around with gals that are friends. this is a good story your goingt to tell many times as you get older. good one...becareful on your reunions. lol
Reply:lmfao...thats awsome
Reply:Hammer.
mobile
Getting Stuff Off?
wow.... id say finger nail poilish remover should work on the nail.. and time to clip the hair short. buzz it off.. i guess you learnd a lesson not to play around with gals that are friends. this is a good story your goingt to tell many times as you get older. good one...becareful on your reunions. lol
Reply:lmfao...thats awsome
Reply:Hammer.
mobile
Need help on physics?
1. A 1.12 kg skateboard is coasting along the pavement at a speed of 5.08 m/s when a 0.80 kg cat drops from a tree vertically downward onto the skateboard. What is the speed of the skateboard-cat combination?
2. A 750 N student stands in the middle of a frozen pond having a radius of 4.0 m. He is unable to get to the other side because of a lack of friction between his shoes and the ice. To overcome this difficulty, he throws his 2.9 kg physics textbook horizontally toward the north shore at a speed of 5.0 m/s. How long does it take him to reach the south shore?
Need help on physics?
i think for the first problem, the answer is 2.96 m/s.
because momentum is conserved..
annual credit report
2. A 750 N student stands in the middle of a frozen pond having a radius of 4.0 m. He is unable to get to the other side because of a lack of friction between his shoes and the ice. To overcome this difficulty, he throws his 2.9 kg physics textbook horizontally toward the north shore at a speed of 5.0 m/s. How long does it take him to reach the south shore?
Need help on physics?
i think for the first problem, the answer is 2.96 m/s.
because momentum is conserved..
annual credit report
Why should John McCain not support the war in Iraq?
Is it because Saddam was helped into power by the U.S. and then armed by the U.S. %26amp; then went rogue on us? Is it because of the threat from Iran? Because they went all religious on the U.S. after they booted the Shaw of Iran out? You remember the guy before the Iatolla, the reason we armed Saddam. Didn't the U.S. put the Shaw in power %26amp; then arm him too. Didn't we buddy up with Binladin %26amp; arm him to take it to the Russkies in Afganistan. Isn't that the weaponry that ended up with the Talaban, the human rights people. Do you people remember the CIA puppet Noriega of Panama? How about Marcos of the Phillipeans, with the wife with 5000 pairs of shoes. Isn't there a pattern with the Republicrat party, weapons, and the horrors of war. Now I'm well aware of some people being all GUN-HO but do we have to put them incharge of our purse %26amp; foriegn affairs. Do you think theres a terrorist under your bed and behind every tree? In the eyes of the world who is the bully here, who has the war-machine
Why should John McCain not support the war in Iraq?
Wow you tie all those things to the Republican party, guess there is no need to vote for any democrats then, as alot of what you listed occured when the democrats were in control. So I guess they are disfunctional even when they are the Party in Power and Only the Republicans have been running the show since the 50's anyway, might as well pay the Republicans for the job they will do.
diet
Why should John McCain not support the war in Iraq?
Wow you tie all those things to the Republican party, guess there is no need to vote for any democrats then, as alot of what you listed occured when the democrats were in control. So I guess they are disfunctional even when they are the Party in Power and Only the Republicans have been running the show since the 50's anyway, might as well pay the Republicans for the job they will do.
diet
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