Do you know about these excuses for missing work?

I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


I couldn't find my shoes.


A venomous snake bit me.


A hit man was looking for me.


My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


I had to be there for my husband's/wife's grand jury trial.


I forgot what day of the week it was.


Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


A tree fell on my car.


My monkey died.


I had to move a tapeworm from inside me.

Do you know about these excuses for missing work?
Of course! Why didn't I learn these sooner? These are great, funny and true. Here is a star. I liked the monkey one too.
Reply:Like the one about the Monkey and some of the others were OK.
Reply:thats funny, i emailed that to my boss
Reply:i wouldnt try them, but funny



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