How can i make this better..Law...closing statement?

Hello my fellow jury members. As you jury members might know we are here to prosecute a criminal who endangered two lives and unfortunately one of them died. I, Jeffrey Franco am here to put Alex in jail where hopefully he won’t commit any other crimes. You have heard the arguments from both sides and I hope you are going to make the right decision. If you still don’t know your decisions about the trial, here are my final arguments to support you on making the right decision. The following paragraphs are given to show you why Alex is fault of the crimes. Please pay attention because every detail counts, and when you make your decision I hope that you are 110% sure that your decision is correct.


In the trial that we are arguing over, Alex Flin is 100% guilty; we have gathered information from the witnesses that were at the party who saw everything. That day when Alex arrived at the party everything was going well. Alex seemed well at first when the drinks were just soda and juices. Chris states that when they were eating, beer was brought from the basement to the kitchen by Ken. Ken Conroy is a popular student who organized the party which happened on Saturday night. I suppose that Ken told most of the people that he invited that there was going to be alcoholic beverages at the party. All the people that were at the party, stated that when Ken invited them he gave them a notice to them saying that alcohol was to take place at the party. It seems to me that Alex was told that alcohol was going to take place at the party as well.


As soon as Alex started drinking beer, I know that he didn’t remember that he had to drive back home and drop off Anita. As we started questioning to him what happened on the night of the party he didn’t remember anything, obviously he was already drunk at that time. Alex was warned by his Health teacher that drinking is bad and how drunk driving is dangerous for the driver which in this case was him and how it also could endanger other people in the car. He clearly knew these procedures since he scored A’s on all his Health Class tests and he had an A on that class. He knew by that time that minors aren’t allowed to drink by law so why did he drink and take his chances on going to jail.


Monica stated that she asked Alex for the keys because she had a feeling that he was in danger because he was already drunk. Monica says that he screamed back to her and didn’t give him the keys to the car so she started to cry. Chris and Erinn briefly describe that as soon as Alex left the parking space he knocked something down which was a mailbox. When they were already on the road, Chris says that Alex was weaving all over the road. He also says that he was speeding up and slowing down as they moved along Old Maine St. To prove that he wasn’t drunk he accelerated eve more when Chris started yelling and Anita started crying with great effort to make him stop the car. Alex ignored these efforts and eventually crashed the car into a tree which was off the course of the street. This crash happened because both Alex and Anita were fighting for the steering wheel, but it was clearly Alex’s fault because he was drunk and because he should have listened to them when they started urging him to stop the car.








Alex’s parents have let him go to previous parties before, but they have never seen him drink beer or look drunk at all. My hypothesis is that every time Alex comes back from a party, his parents are either sleeping or aren’t present when he arrives because of the time he arrives at home. The police say that he was driving at 75 miles per hour when the speed limit was 45mph. The police also gathered evidence that his BAC level-Blood Alcohol Concentration was 0.07. Alex maximum BAC level should be 0.0 because he is a minor and isn’t allowed to drink. The police officers also saw that Alex had blood and vomit on his clothes due to the concussion from the beer. From this party he arrived between 3:40 A.M. to 4:30 A.M to his house because the crash happened at 3:20 A.M which is proved by the police officers.


When the police arrived at his house at 5:00A.M in the morning, his parents had no idea what was going on and didn’t expect Alex to be in deep trouble. Alex at that time was also confused and didn’t know that he had crash and that one of his friends was dead because of his carelessness.


Alex was behaving very negligent so he should be charged with the following crimes; criminally negligent homicide, vehicle manslaughter, and DWI. Criminally negligent homicide is when a person is guilty of a person’s death and the person was acting very irresponsibly. Vehicle manslaughter is when a person is acting irresponsibly, therefore he causes the death of a person and this happens when he is intoxicated, in this trial Alex was drunk. DWI is when someone is driving while intoxicated, in this case Alex was drunk because of the alcohol he consumed, that person won’t be able to control the vehicle properly and safely because alcohol is running throughout their body. This brings a lot of danger to them and anyone who is inside of the vehicle.


So please my fellow jury members I ask for you to make a wise decision and put yourself in our shoes. Do you think an irresponsible senior should be in the streets maybe causing another crash or killing someone because of his negligence? Please make the right choice for the safety of the city, you, and everyone else that is outside there living a safe life. Thank all of you for your patience and time.

How can i make this better..Law...closing statement?
1. You are in Mock Trial, so unless you have a jury, you are having a court trial. If you are having a jury trail, first, "Hello my fellow jury members. As you jury members might know we are here to prosecute a criminal who endangered two lives and unfortunately one of them died." You are not a fellow juror. You are the prosecutor. Second, the jury is not there to prosecute anyone, just find the facts. Next, you cannot mention punishment, so saying you are there to put him in Jail just is not proper.





Next, go over what the witnesses said, not collectively.





Say things like, the people have proven that the defendant, do not call him/her by name, as you do not want to personalize him. And never, ever by the first name by its self. Finally, explain that you have proven you case beyond a reasonable doubt. Again, they are the jurors, not my fellow jurors and he is not Alex, he is the defendant.


Thank them for their time. Thank them for your attention and finish by pointing at the defendant and saying, he is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt of the charges. Thank you.
Reply:sounds like you made up your mind before you heard the evidence. also if your a juror or prosecutor why are you broadcasting this on yahoo? sounds pretty unprofessional.
Reply:1. they are not your 'fellow' jury members. You are the prosecution lawyer and therefore not in the jury.


2. You cannot say the defendant is 100% guilty because he has not been found guilty yet. you can say 'after you hear these arguments you will be convinced he is guilty'


3. You cannot claim anyone saw 'everything' - do you really believe that they saw everything??


4. You don't have to say so much about Ken. All the jury needs to know is that invited guests understood there would be alcohol at the party. It doesn't need to be longer than 1-2 sentances to get that across.


5. Never say 'i suppose' it sounds like you are uncertain.


6. Don't say you knew he forget he had to drive - if you want him convicted be more agressive - He knew before he started drinking that he had a responsibility to drive. He knew that drinking underage and before driving was illegal and dangerous. But instead of using this knowlegde, he foolishly drank anyway.


6. beer does not give concussion. He may have hurt himself and given himself a concussion because he was drunk


7. you don't do something negligent. You do it negligently.


8. Don't use an acronym (DWI) unless you have already explained what it means in full.
Reply:If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit baby!



myspace